I found out I was expecting my second baby in July 2021. I found out pretty quick into my cycle since my birth control is pretty much the old school way of monitoring my cycle by calendar. (Another whole topic different day) I was stoked! And we could say a bit shocked because you know
they Google says the chances of getting pregnant at 40 are slim and if you’re over 40 you can pretty much hang it up. I was 42 at the time!
I’ve always wanted more than one child, but considering that I didn’t have my first until 37, I honestly didn’t have much faith that I’d ever have another one. I knew that I wasn’t the person to have babies back-to-back and that I needed time in between. At 39 and 40, I also had two miscarriages which I haven’t spoken about until now. Again, considering that age was a factor, I put my trust in God that if it was meant to happen for me it, then it would. And here I am.
Back to 43…
Being pregnant at 43 is something most people would say no to for many reasons and I get it. By this time in life most have been there and done that and feel it’s nearly impossible especially if you have experienced any medical issues. Listen, I get science and the human body, but I’ll bet you that most of us are just going along with the standards that society have set for us. And one thing that I don’t understand is why isn’t data being updated to report that women are having babies a lot later in life and they are pretty damn successful at it. In fact, when I went to my first maternity appointment this time around, I have to admit I was feeling some type of way. When my doctor walked in the room, she asked, “How are you doing Mrs. Wells and what are your main concerns about the pregnancy.” My response– “well…being pregnant at 43.” She said, “If there is one thing that I can take away from you, it’d be the worry of your age.” I was really shocked! She went on to tell me that if I was 47ish then maybe we might have some concern, but you are going to be just fine. The reassurance and confidence that she gave me that day, I can’t even explain.
My reason for being pregnant at 43…
I mean…do I really need one? I do not. All I can say is that I know that I have always wanted two kids, but life happens. I wasn’t one that felt that I wanted kids early in life. I can tell you that a lot of my motivation has come with just having one child who is always asking for a playmate and a sister/brother. When I think of my child’s future and when we are gone on, I know that I don’t want her to be the only child. I think it would send her down a path of loneliness and I also don’t want her to feel like she has to go looking for people to cling to out of being bored and alone. Plus, I have talked to my share of older moms who did have only one child as well as people who grew up as the only child. Yes, there are distant family members, but there is nothing like having a sibling. And I know all siblings don’t always get along, but I’ll at least rest on the fact that we gave her the chance to begin with. When it came to my health, was I the healthiest that I could be, absolutely not, I could’ve definitely been healthier, but overall I have no major medical issues. However, there is one health related issue that I am going to talk to you about in another post that contributed to me wondering if I could even have another child. Over the past few years, one of my doctor’s said that I should just be happy with the one I have. Well…maybe so, but…I have out weighed my own situation and here I am, at 43 willing to take the chance. I know that if I don’t do it now, then it will never happen and I will most likely regret it later in life. I don’t want that for myself. These are my reasons.
Things to consider before having a baby after 40…
- Your health (physical and mental)
- Your personal situation (are you in a good situation mentally, emotionally, financially, and your relationship)
- Birth defects (definitely have as many genetic screenings as possible to know your baby’s risks and DO IT EARLY)
- Diet (particularly watch out for high blood pressure and gestational diabetes)
- Maternal Fetal Specialist (this is something that is usually recommended by your OBGYN, but if not definitely consider asking your doctor for a referral even if your genetic testing comes back okay, you are at risk just due to your age and you’ll want to be closely monitored throughout your pregnancy and this is especially important during your third trimester for baby)
- Increased risk of miscarriage
- Low birth weight (when babies weigh 5lbs or less at birth)
- Still birth (the death or loss of a baby before or during delivery)
I am in no way a doctor or medical professional, so it’s important for you to talk to your doctor for any advice and to know your own personal health status and to know what you can expect during pregnancy if you’re over the age of 40. These are just the things that have been brought to my attention during my second pregnancy and I am sharing them with you.
I know that I still have a few weeks to go and every day I do get nervous about all the things that I have heard about, but I try my best not to belabor on them. I pray. I pray a lot. And I truly believe that I am right where God intends for me to be regardless of the negative remarks and feelings of others. That is not my worry and it should not be yours if you are considering.
Despite the odds and statistics, I stand here today to tell you that having a health pregnancy at and over the age of 40 is definitely possible. In realness, at 43 I will tell you there are some things that are more challenging once you hit 40. There will likely be more aches and pains with your joints and bones just due to age, plus feeling more pregnancy related fatigue is definitely a thing. I am sleepier than I have ever been in my entire life, but honestly I am truly blessed and I won’t complain. This pregnancy has been different than the first for sure, as I hear they all are, but overall, it’s been good and I can’t wait to share more details with you and to take you along for the rest of my journey with this pregnancy.
Until next time…
See ya friends.